All Year Round Tools (but especially good at Christmas)
Anxiety comes from not living in the moment so being in the moment is really how we get out of it.
I absolutely love Christmas but it can be overwhelming and bring up all sorts of issues in our tissues. I have put together a list of tools that I use for when anxiety hits. It's most definitely a tried and tested list ; ) Over the years I've tried everything and the following are the ones I have found most effective.
I am not my anxiety.
This statement alone has made so much sense to me. I see anxiety now as an energy that I can step into or step out of. If I choose to step into it, a whole lot of chaos and pain comes rushing at me. If I choose to step out, I throw all the tools in the book at it and it passes, sometimes easier than others but it does pass.
Gratitude
The number one tool that I use for anxiety is gratitude. Anytime I feel myself getting anxious or notice any signs of stress, I ramp up the gratitude. I try everyday (anxious or not) to write down 3 things in a notepad that I am grateful for. It gets me focusing on the good and over time it actually trains my brain to look for the good in things. Our minds are like muscles and sometimes we need to put some training in place to strengthen those muscles or give them a nudge in the right direction.
Breathing
It’s soooo important to breathe when anxiety sets in. Taking a few minutes out to focus on your breath helps enormously. When those annoying anxious thoughts build, our bodies go into flight or flight mode, which heightens all the horrible "need to get out of my body right now' feelings. Focusing on our breath sends a message to our brain that we are safe and immediately calms our systems. I find breathing in for 4, holding for 4 and then breathing out for 6 helps hugely in stopping the anxiety from getting out of control.
Tapping
Another great tool that I use a lot for anxiety. Tapping is based on Chinese acupuncture and the energy pathways in our bodies called meridians. Tapping on certain points of the body stops our bodies going into fight or flight mode and can also release fears or phobias. The tapping I generally use is called the karate chop and I usually say an affirmation whilst tapping e.g. “Even though I have this anxiety, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.” I repeat this statement or something similar for a few minutes and I always feel calmer after.
For more information and some excellent videos on tapping check out Sarah Tobin on Instagram @sarah_tobin or Facebook. I would totally recommend booking a session with Sarah if you are having ongoing issues with anything.
Meditation
I’m a huge fan of meditation. I also don’t believe that you have to sit cross-legged on a beach trying to get your mind to go blank to meditate properly. For me, meditation is about calming the mind, whatever way that works for you. Sometimes when I’m anxious there is NO way in hell, I could clear my mind and this is the time when I need it most. That is when I listen to some downloaded guided meditations or find some on YouTube. It’s basically like relaxed storytelling and for an anxious mind this gives you something calm and peaceful to focus on. I’m a big fan of Australian, Jason Stephenson’s guided meditations but the main thing is to find ones that you like.
Affirmations
Again, I’m a big fan of these. As someone whose mind sometimes goes into overdrive and can’t stop focusing on the wrong thing, affirmations help enormously. It’s like taking the steering wheel and redirecting your mind onto a better road. There are lots of affirmations to be found online e.g Louise L Hay, founder of Hay House Publishing has lots of affirmations in her books but you can make these up yourself to suit your situation. However, its very important to choose or make up positive statements (obvs ; )
Get out in Nature
Getting out for a walk in nature for at least 30 minutes helps our mental health enormously. We breathe deeper, exercise our muscles and for me, being by the sea or in a park surrounded by trees helps me to feel peaceful.
Sleep
Big one! Getting enough sleep is vital for anxiety and sometimes it’s when we need sleep the most that it doesn’t come that easily. When I’m having trouble sleeping, I will go into drill sergeant mode in an effort to get a good night’s sleep.
- I’ll take a bath with Epsom Salts.
- Go to bed early.
- Write my gratitude down and also make a list of anything that I need to do the next day.
- Read for 20 minutes or so.
- Do a sleep meditation.
- Turn phones off and all other electrical devices in my room.
- Do my in for 4, hold for 4 and out for 6 breathing.
- Use essential oils like Lavender or similar on my pillow.
Play/Create/Have fun!
Getting outside with the kids, doing an arts and craft project or even getting the pencils and colouring book out can help hugely. It takes me out of my own way. Sometimes with anxiety, I find it hard to focus on anything but what I am feeling and this is exactly when I need to be present most. Remember, your anxiety is not you, it’s an energy so creating or playing lifts us out of this draining and helps us to realise that there are other things outside our anxiety.
Books
There have been times when I know that I need to read something inspiring or motivating to get me off my ass. This is where personal growth or self help come in. It's not for everyone but as someone who has bought A LOT of these books, it works for some (including me). The best thing to do is to go with whatever appeals to you either in a bookshop or online.
Saying No
It took a while for me to learn this one but learn it I did through experience. Saying no to something like a party or meet up doesn't mean you're a bad person or not a good friend. What it actually means is that you need to take care of yourself and you are finally being kind to you. It actually makes so much sense to say no because if you don't the consequences can sometimes be harder to cope with after.
BIG THING TO REMEMBER!
If it gets too much, ASK FOR HELP. Talk to friend, see a doctor or therapist, book yourself whatever type of healing session you prefer...whatever helps and please, please, please know that this too will pass.
Hope everyone has a peaceful, happy and harmonious Christmas xx
Images featured above by Annie Spratt, Simon Maage, Simon Rae, Vadislav Musaklov and Priscilla Du Preez at Unsplash.com
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